...I call writing "my work." As in "I don't know if I'm ready to show people my work," or "Thank you for taking the time to comment on my work."
Isn't writing supposed to be art? Shouldn't I be saying "I don't know if I'm ready to show people my art" instead?
Sometimes I think  I view writing the way television writers view writing their soap operas. There's a story arc, of course. And you try to keep everything in character and on track. But every single section of it - every episode, every chapter - is its own bit.
I don't write write write and then divide it up later. I sit down, I think about how this chapter will begin, how this chapter will end. Then I post it, and I forget about it for a few weeks. I don't write it as one cohesive story. I don't 

I think a big part of why Chemistry has lasted for so long is the fact that I lose passion for a project once people know about it. Stephen King says "Write with the door closed, rewrite with the door open." By posting every new chapter on my website or on FictionPress, I am constantly writing with the door open.
Whenever I get a new story idea, I instinctively want to share it. I tell my friends, I tell my boyfriend, I tell my family.  I want everyone to know about what I'm writing, as if talking the story out will help me improve it. But it never does. As soon as people know what I'm writing, as soon as anyone starts asking how it's coming, or what'll happen next, I immediately want to start a new project.
It would make a lot more sense for me to just always write in secret. Instead of posting every new chapter as soon as I write it, I could hoard them, wait until they really take shape. Wonder of wonders; I could wait until the story is finished.
I am, by nature, a very open person. If someone asks me something, I'll answer them without hesitation. It doesn't occur to me to tell them it's none of their business. It doesn't occur to me to lie. I automatically assume that everyone has pure motives, and that they're just asking because they're genuinely interested.
It doesn't help that people always assume they have the right to know. It used to just be this way with non-writers; I'd be scribbling out a chapter during study hall, and a friend would tug it away from me to read it. I had always just told them, "I don't like people to see my work until it's finished. It's a writer thing." So why do I post it online after one draft? Why do I stack up my chapters, one by one, without really finishing anything? Even other writers are always curious, always asking.
When I tell my mom (who I am very close to) that I hate the fact that I post half-assed, half-finished work, she tells me it's as simple as just not posting it. But in a way, it's not. It's not as simple as just not adding it to the collection of stories, because it's like I need to post it to prove I've been writing. Like I actually feel like I need to justify myself and my work. It's like posting the chapters is just part of my writing process. I think; I write; I post. The end. I don't understand why I do that.

Confession time: I still lurk on FictionPress. I don't post, obviously, but I still read some other stories, and I occasionally check out the forums.
Because of this casual lurking, I heard that some of the websites created by other FictionPress slash writers are no longer going to be posting or anything. Namely, the awards sites. I'm not going to use their names, because I doubt these people want their sites to show up on my blog, but both of the main slash-related award sites seem to no longer be posting. This sucks, honestly, because I thought the awards sites were great. I honestly did.
Here's the part where I'm going to get in trouble...
A few months ago, right before I decided to give up on FictionPress, I mentioned that I'd like to start an awards site. I thought we could do it a little differently, but still use one site to promote and award stories that are really awesome.
My idea still stands. And I'm considering raising this idea on the forums (even though I really, really don't want to go back to FictionPress) so that newer people who didn't know me back then can have a chance to get involved.
This is NOT me being an opportunist. This isn't about me trying to be smug and sneaky, or act like I think "my awards are of course better than everyone else's awards." Nothing like that. These wouldn't even be my awards. I just think that these awards sites are good ideas. I think they're good for the FictionPress slash community, and I don't think they should disappear altogether. I think we should keep going because there's a real call for them.

Comment here if you're interested.

Last night, I had this major existential crisis regarding technology, basically. I started thinking about my twitter account, and why I bother having one. Why does *anyone* bother having one? Seriously. Why do we all assume that everything we have to say is so fascinating that people would want to read every single thought we have, every second of the day? Then I started thinking about facebook, which I barely use. I used to be really into the games and stuff, because I'm a lamer, but now, I only use it to occasionally post on my friends' walls... which is stupid, because I could just call them. Or text them. Or write them a letter. I used to have a livejournal, but I don't use it anymore. It's really stupid to have all these different accounts that don't really do anything for me.
Thus, I've created this blog. I know, it sounds stupid, right? But the way I see it, it makes sense to only commit to updating this one website. This is where my writing is. This is where you can read my blog. This is it, for me. Just here, because I don't want to put up with all the other bullshit. From now on, I'm keeping this and my twitter. That's it. Everything else is dead.